If you lose your phone on a plane, you can always count on the cabin staff to act professionally.
Your phone provider will spring into action to help you and show you exactly why you pay $150 a month for a one bar signal.
You can always count on your friends to realise that a text message isn’t the best way to let you know a good Samaritan has found your lost phone.
Thanks Gena, that helps a bunch seeing as someone else has my phone and all.
If a homeless man finds it, they’re going to take amazing selfies.
Your siblings would never think of misusing your phone.
Or your teachers for that matter.
You can totally count on your brain to be at its peak during this time of immense emotional struggle.
The ‘thief’ might have logged into FaceBook.
More likely, they’ll probably log into your Facebook.
And they may even go into more detail than anyone ever asked for.
Or, they might have accidentally taken an embarrassing video trying to get past the lock screen.
Batman could return it (with a few extra selfies).
Or Woody Harrelson, the Batman of ‘Cheers’
If you’re into your grammar and leave your phone unattended, your friends totally won’t make your life a misery.
If you lose it at Disneyland, it might make it into the hands of your favourite character.
Your room mates probably won’t leave any terrifying photos on it.
If you end up having to buy a new one, there could be amazing photos that the previous owner forgot to delete.
It could restore your faith in humanity.
It’s a good chance to practice your Liam Neeson impression.
Sadly, sometimes a phone is just lost forever.
But, even if it is a thousand miles away, you and your phone will always have the iCloud.