Talking about how hot another girl is to the girl you’re currently hitting on. That’s like telling your grandma how much better your other grandma is at baking cookies.

Telling a girl to smile is so creepy. Imagine if you were just hanging out after a long day of work and a stranger asked you to smile. How bizarre is that?

Don’t bring a girl a drink. If you get one while you’re both sitting at the bar, that’s fine, but she doesn’t want your roofie cocktail you just brought from the bathroom or your car.

Don’t get blackout drunk and then try to talk to ladies. I’m sure the one thing she wants is a sloppy mess falling all over her and then having to carrying him to a cab in 45 minutes.

The stare and linger move is terrifying. If you want to go talk to her, just do it. Don’t stand a few feet away and stare at her like Michael Myers. It’s terrifying.

Asking a girl if she’s alone may seem like a good way to “find out her situation” but a strange man coming up and asking if she’s by herself feels more like a scene from Taken.

If she does have a boyfriend, don’t start insulting him. No girl has ever dumped her longtime boyfriend because a sweaty guy at the bar said he looks like he can’t bench press very much.

If a girl is talking to a group of friends, don’t bust through the middle of them like the Kool-Aid man and start talking to them. No one has ever gone home with the Kool-Aid Man. 

If a girl shoots you down, don’t turn to the girl she’s with and start hitting on her. I’m sure she’s thrilled to be your second string choice. You just made her the Scottie Pippen to your Michael Jordan.

When there’s an attractive girl at the bar, maybe just go up by yourself or with a friend? Don’t create a flash mob or horniness around her. “WHAT ABOUT HIM? OR ME? OR THAT GUY? HUH? HUH? WHATDAYATHINK??”

You can get her a drink, but don’t start dropping ridiculous money to try and show off. She’ll think you’re gross, but, more importantly, you have $87 in the bank so maybe settle down?

Anything that you have to ask yourself, “Hmm is this creepy?” just don’t do it. Odds are, if you think it’s creepy, so will she. Act normal, maybe? 

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